What Is Low Sexual Desire?
Low Sexual Desire plagues many individuals and couples. People who suffer from it often express feeling abnormal, alone, anxious, afraid, or like something is wrong with them. Low libido can be a sign of many things and usually means that there is an underlying, non biological issue. This can range from sexual trauma, learned behaviors about sex, values, insecurities, and relational patterns.
How Does Low Sexual Desire Appear In Relationships?
Usually when I see a couple who comes in for low sexual desire, their initial complaints are something like this. “We rarely have sex.” “Shouldn’t we be having more sex?” “My partner never initiates.” “I don’t enjoy sex.” “Our sex is awkward and uncomfortable.” “We don’t have sex like we used to.” “My partner and I are not connecting.”
What Are Some Treatments For Low Sexual Desire?
Treatments for Low Libido are:
- Mindfulness – To teach the individual how to be present with their body
- Emotionally Focused Therapy – For couples who are missing their connection
- Family Systems – For the individual to gain insight into why they have certain beliefs and values around sex
- Sensate Focus Exercises – To teach the couple how to be physically and mentally present with one another, and to increase intimacy.
- Individual Therapy – For the individual to learn about themselves as a sexual being
- Solution Focused Therapy – For couples who are learning how to communicate about sex and other issues preventing them from being intimate.
- Sexual Education
How Do You Work With Clients Who Are Experiencing Low Desire or Sexless Relationships?
Once the individual or couple make an initial appointment, we sit down and discuss what they believe would make a better sex life. I ask what their goals are and we go over what has been challenging so far.
If you’re part of a couple, after getting to know you, I then separate you for our second and third sessions into individual appointments to assess whether a combination of individual therapy and couples therapy would work better. Usually people ask, why do we need both? Sometimes doing both at the same time can get a better result in a faster amount of time. People enter relationships with their own experiences and feelings about what they want and sometimes change happens more quickly if we devote equal time to both you as an individual and you in the couple.
Finally, I use a combination of the therapies above to help you achieve a better sex life, the way that feels comfortable for you.